Sometimes they turn toxic. Sometimes those loops are born out of fear and anger and hatred. And they might be what you need to survive that awful situation.
That happened with me. My oldest child had all sorts of problems that required specific responses. And after it got so bad that the police took him away, there was only my younger son left.
And I began to treat him as if he was my oldest.
I am ashamed of that. He is a good kid, even still, and didn’t deserve that treatment.
It took too long for me to recognize that loop, that pattern, and to eliminate it from how I treated him.
When you find yourself reacting in the same loops with a new relationship as you did with the old, that is a sign.
That is a sign for you to stop and think carefully about what you are doing, who you are reacting to, and if you’re resting to the person there now, or to the person who is gone.
Because sometimes – just sometimes – history does not repeat itself.